How to Talk to Friends and Family About Your Fertility Journey

How to Talk to Friends and Family About Your Fertility Journey

A guide to sharing your story in a way that protects your heart and opens the door to support.

Fertility journeys are deeply personal and often deeply emotional. If you’re trying to conceive, navigating loss, going through medical treatments, or simply feeling stuck in the unknown, you may wonder whether (or how) to let the people in your life in on what you’re going through.

The truth is, talking about fertility challenges isn’t easy. It can bring up feelings of shame, fear of being misunderstood, or worry that people will say the wrong thing. And unfortunately, many well-meaning friends and family members do say the wrong thing.

But that doesn’t mean you have to do this alone. The right support system, one that feels safe, understanding, and respectful can make a world of difference. This post will walk you through how to talk to friends and family about your journey in a way that honors you and your needs.

 

1. Start With Clarity: What Do You Want to Share?

Before you start any conversation, take time to ask yourself:

• What part of my journey am I ready to share?
• Who do I feel emotionally safe around?
• What do I hope to gain from telling this person?
• What don’t I want to talk about?

There is no right or wrong answer. You may want to be open with close friends and siblings, but keep things more general with coworkers or extended family. You may be comfortable talking about your medical treatments, but not about your emotions. Or maybe you’re not ready to share anything at all and that’s okay too.

The most important thing is that you’re in control of your story.

 2. Set the Tone for the Conversation

Once you’ve chosen someone you trust, start the conversation with intention. Be clear about what you’re sharing and what kind of response you need.

Some examples:

• “This is something really personal, and I don’t need advice, I just need a little support.”
• “I’m opening up about this because I trust you, but I’m still figuring out how to talk about it.”
• “We’re having a hard time growing our family. It’s been emotionally draining, and I just wanted you to know in case I seem a little off lately.”

By setting the tone early, you can reduce awkward responses and guide the other person on how to be there for you.

 

 3. Create Clear Boundaries (and Reinforce Them When Needed)

Not everyone will respond perfectly and sometimes, people overstep. Maybe someone asks invasive questions, offers unsolicited advice, or brushes your feelings off with a “just relax and it’ll happen.”

You are allowed to draw lines.

Some boundary-setting phrases:

• “I know you care, but that comment felt a little dismissive.”
• “Please don’t ask for updates. I’ll share when I’m ready.”
• “I’d rather not talk about this at family gatherings. It’s just too emotional right now.”
• “That kind of advice is hard for me to hear. I’m working closely with professionals and making the best decisions I can.”

And remember: boundaries aren’t mean, they’re an act of self-care.

 4. Be Honest About What Support Looks Like for You

Most people truly want to help—they just don’t know how.

Be clear about what would actually feel supportive:

• “I’d really appreciate a quick check-in on hard days.”
• “It would mean a lot if you could just listen without trying to fix it.”
• “Distractions help—send me funny memes or invite me to things.”
• “I don’t need advice, just a safe space to vent when I need to.”

Giving people specific ways to support you helps both sides feel more connected.

 

 5. Give Yourself Permission to Keep Certain People at a Distance

There will be people who don’t get it. Some may unintentionally hurt you. Others may make everything about themselves. And some might avoid the topic entirely because it makes them uncomfortable.

That doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong.

If someone consistently makes you feel judged, drained, or dismissed, you have every right to protect your peace by limiting what you share—or stepping back from that relationship for a while.

You can love someone and still choose not to bring them into this sacred, sensitive part of your life.

 

 6. Don’t Forget: You’re Allowed to Change Your Mind

As your journey unfolds, your comfort level may change—and that’s normal.

You might open up to someone one month, and need more privacy the next. Or maybe you keep things private for years, and one day feel ready to share your story more openly.

Let your needs guide you. You never have to apologize for evolving.

 

 Final Thoughts

Talking about your fertility journey is a deeply personal choice. There’s no perfect way to do it—only what feels right for you.

Remember:

• You don’t owe anyone your story.
• You deserve to be supported with care and respect.
• You are not alone—even if it sometimes feels like it.

And if your current circle doesn’t feel safe, know that there are places where you can be fully seen and heard. Fertility coaches, online support groups, therapists, and other women walking this road alongside you can offer the understanding and validation you need.

Your story is powerful. And when the time is right—you’ll know exactly who to share it with.